Notes on scary zombies and even scarier neighbors + realizations as we grow older
One: “Happiness” was a kdrama that did not breathe. Two: The older you get, the less you give a damn about what others think. And you owe that to yourselves after all this time.
How is everyone doing in this strange limbo between Christmas and New Year? I, for one, have clocked in for work for most days. Are you still sane? Barely hanging by a thread? No? You’re not alone. I swear Christmas this year was much more exhausting.
I swear I didn’t forget about this newsletter. See? I even rebranded it as Mad Girl’s Missive. I thought it is a more fitting name, although “Paranoid Tiptoe” is pretty cool, too. My 23 year-old self would’ve been so proud. But I’m blathering, as I am prone to doing. So I’ll cut myself short and dive right into the heart of the matter: my regular dose of kdrama (Zombies this time! How exciting!) and yet another life’s question that I struggled to answer the best I can. So without further ado, good folks of the internetz…
I’m watching: “Happiness” — zombies and terrible, terrible neighbors
Just when I thought I’d seen one zombie too many, along comes “Happiness” kdrama. They don’t call them zombies, though. They’re classified as “infected”, which is a much nicer term but eh. Still zombies… Kind of. But it’s the way these zombies were portrayed that made me think twice about all those walking undead. They were someone’s father, someone’s sister, someone’s daughter. You are caught between a rock and a hard place: Would you wait it out and not kill those undead, risking the possibility of them turning, with no guarantees on your safety? Or will you go with safety first and then just kill them because no one knows when the government will come up with the cure for the infected?
The setting of “Happiness” made it all the more tense and terrifying: Inside an apartment building, where neighbors can turn nasty. Married couple (also long-time friends) Sae Beom and Yi Hyun are new residents of Seyang Forest Le Ciel Building 101. Sae Beom, the headstrong wife, was so excited to start living in it. She and her equally brave but also just plain adorable and loving husband, Yi Hyun, were just settling into the luxurious place when news of the infection broke. One day they were unpacking and the next thing they knew, their place was on lockdown due to the “infected.” They both tried to keep things calm among their neighbors, but they can only do so much. With their resources dwindling and the number of the infected rising with each passing day, the residents of Le Ciel Building have started a downward spiral path to selfishness and greed. It isn’t just humans versus the infected here. It’s also humans versus humans. And I think that’s what makes it scarier. Humans, when pushed to their limits, can become more terrifying and dangerous than the infected ones.
The infected ones aren’t just zombies to be feared, but also humans to be pitied and saved. The surviving humans aren’t just comrades. They can turn against you any moment, in spite of everyone starting out with the good intention of making it out alive. “Happiness” hit that sweet spot between horror and humanity, and I think that’s what made me really love this kdrama. It’s a 12-episode show that’s full of action, surprises, thrill, plot twists, and intensity. And don’t ever forget the strong and unshakable bond between longtime friends and newlyweds, Sae Beom and Yi Hyun. Their loyalty and love for each other were what kept them going. I 5/5 recommend this show, even if you’re not a horror fan. There’s a lot going on in “Happiness” and I think that this time, it’s on the show’s favor.
You asked, I answered: What are some of the things you realize as you grow older?
There are a couple of things I wished my younger self knew before hitting my 30s, if only because it would’ve saved me so much grief, time, effort, and heartache. There’s a handful of lessons but here are my top three:
Saying no to others doesn’t mean you’re being unkind.
As we grow older, we experience a lot more of the world. And those experiences come with realizations. And those realizations come with changes on ourselves as we struggle to adapt to the changes in the world as we know it. I remember something back when I read Stephen King’s “The Shining”, when good old Dick was talking to Danny:
“The world's a hard place, Danny. It don't care. It don't hate you and me, but it don't love us, either. Terrible things happen in the world, and they're things no one can explain… But see that you get on. That's your job in this hard world, to keep your love alive and see that you get on, no matter what. Pull your act together and just go on.”
— “The Shining”, Stephen King
No truer words than those. All of my younger years were spent trying so hard to be docile, trying so hard to not step on people’s toes. It wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I realized it was giving me more harm than good. I realized that being assertive and discerning doesn’t mean letting people down. It means respecting my boundaries, because there are people who do take advantage when you play nice. I still struggle from time to time, though. It isn’t easy to change what you’ve become after all these years. It’s like I was programmed at a young age to get along well with everyone, to be on my best behavior, to think of other people first. Please do yourself a favor: Create boundaries. Respect yourself and you will soon find that others will respect you, too. And remember: Letting others down, saying no to them, etc. doesn’t automatically mean you’re not being “good” or “kind.” You can always refuse others without being mean.
Napping is now your gift from above.
Remember those times you hated because your parents insisted you take your daily afternoon naps? And don’t get me started on how I loathed sleeping early because I felt that the fun, exciting things don’t really happen until it’s past 9 PM.
Welcome to adulthood, where napping is a luxury! You thought life was hell with homeworks, group projects, and recitations? Oh, boy. Wait until you’re out there in the real world, the hustle and bustle of work life and everything in between. Better yet, wait until you’re in your 30s and you find yourself in bed, binge-watching some series in Netflix at NINE O’ CLOCK IN THE EVENING. Remember those good old days when you could stay up until six in the morning, alcohol in your system and still be able to cook and eat AND shower when you get home before finally hitting the sack? Yeah, those days are over. The best you can do is proper dinner with friends and you’ll be lucky if you’re not yawning by 10 PM. On a weekend. Fun times!
It’s true: Quality over quantity, friends included.
You’ll make friends but then you’ll learn to cautiously realize who are actually just acquaintances and who really are your friends. Sure, there is strength in numbers but when it comes to friendships, you only really need the solid ones. The older you get, the more you realize that quality friendships are the ones who actually contribute to your happiness and sanity. Gone are the days of keeping people close to you just because. Just because they’re popular or rich. Just because you want to either be them or be part of their group. Just because they stroke your ego, make you feel better about yourself for skin-deep reasons. As you grow older, you’ll realize what makes true friends. And you’ll know well enough who to keep close and who to keep at arm’s length. To which I say, “Good for you!” Life is too short. Spend it with people who really matter to you.
I guess this is where my blathering ends. 2022 is just around the corner. I am still processing 2019, which feels like it was just four months ago. This pandemic has really thrown everyone off track, but we keep moving. And we keep wearing masks, keep maintaining that social distance, and keep washing our hands. I wish you a very Happy New Year! A happy, healthy, lucky 2022.
